Writings

New Book Coming May 2021

I blog weekly on parenting issues through a Jungian lens. Please check back regularly to see the latest posts. 

Parenting in the Age of Polarization

Parenting in the Age of Polarization

My two kids have always had a competitive and contentious relationship. Now that they are teens, this friction often expresses itself as fierce disagreement on social and political issues. As the wider culture has grown increasingly polarized, so had our dinnertime...

Do Kids Have Too Much Power?

Do Kids Have Too Much Power?

These days, there is a widespread tendency for children of all ages to have too much power relative to their parents. I realize it sounds a bit old-fashioned to say this, and in fact I believe this trend has developed in part as a reaction against overly authoritarian...

Humble Gifts: On Knowing We’re Enough

Humble Gifts: On Knowing We’re Enough

I had a conversation with a mother in my practice this week that brought up something important. As usual, I tried to find a fairy tale that captured the essence of what this mother was struggling with. The right tale did come to mind – it’s a 12th century French...

What Happens When We Don’t Like Our Kids?

What Happens When We Don’t Like Our Kids?

I am always a little surprised when a mother tells me with great shame and in great secrecy that she finds she doesn’t particularly like her child. Of course we don’t always like our children! It seems there is too much secrecy around this fact, and greater acceptance...

Gifts From Our Mothers

Gifts From Our Mothers

When my client Rose was around nine or ten years old, she and her family were camping. With her parents’ permission, Rose set off on a walk through to woods to join up with friends at the lake. Rose remembers being suddenly startled by a large black bear rearing up in...

Helping Our Kids Become Whole

Helping Our Kids Become Whole

“The right way to wholeness,” Jung wrote, “is full of fateful detours and wrong turnings.” And yet many mothers worry that there is a right way and a wrong way to parent. We spend time reading books and blogs. We listen to podcasts, and pay for expert advice, which is...

Listening to Our Instincts

Listening to Our Instincts

I suspect that parenting is more difficult than ever because of the proliferation of expert advice everywhere one turns. Advice can certainly be helpful. There are those who have done this before, who figured out things that can be helpful. There are scientists who...

Cultivating Creativity While Mothering

Cultivating Creativity While Mothering

Sasha entered treatment with me when her back pain became unmanageable – and nothing else she had tried was working. Sasha was trained as an opera singer, but had stopped performing when pregnant with her daughter. Though she had intended to go back to music in a...

When Motherhood Defeats Us

When Motherhood Defeats Us

It is a human need to experience ourselves as competent. When we are mothering children, whether we feel competent can play a significant role in determining how satisfying we find this role. While some women come by a sense of competence easily after becoming a...

Teaching Kids to Value the Inner Life

Teaching Kids to Value the Inner Life

Last time, I wrote about how becoming curious about our inner life – and helping our kids to do the same – can be helpful in managing difficult emotions. Relating creatively to our inner life brings other benefits as well. When we cultivate openness and acceptance...