Writings

New Book Coming May 2021

I blog weekly on parenting issues through a Jungian lens. Please check back regularly to see the latest posts. 

When Connecting with Kids is Hard

When Connecting with Kids is Hard

Last week, I shared a fairy tale which explored a parent child relationship in which the parents are ashamed or embarrassed by their child. There is a similar tale that explores this – and darker themes.  A recently published book by Orna Dornath entitled...

When We Are Ashamed of Our Kids

When We Are Ashamed of Our Kids

What an uncomfortable feeling to become aware that we are disappointed with or ashamed of our child, even momentarily. I knew a mom who had one child who was bright, attractive, and well-liked. Her other daughter, however, was awkward and overweight, and was...

When Parents Get Angry

When Parents Get Angry

Most parents get angry with their children frequently, and when we do, we often feel badly about it. While unrestrained parental rage can be damaging to a child, in recent posts, (see here and here) I’ve been taking a look at the potential positive side of...

When is Anger at Children Healthy?

When is Anger at Children Healthy?

Burning with rage at our children is a nearly universal experience, and yet it is one that most moms feel great shame and remorse about. It is frightening to find ourselves capable of wrath and perhaps even violent impulses toward those whom we love so greatly. Could...

Our Children’s Big Dreams

Our Children’s Big Dreams

Charley Pride was the son of an African American sharecropper in Mississippi. As a young man working alongside his father picking cotton, he mapped out his escape from the sharecropping life – he would play major league baseball and “break all the records” like Jackie...

Get Rid of Your Teen

Get Rid of Your Teen

The title is a bit of an overstatement. However, there are some good reason to consider giving your adolescent a taste of independence. Throughout recorded history, children were often sent away from home to live with adults other than parents at the end of childhood,...

Big Picture Parenting: How Parenthood Helps Us Grow

Big Picture Parenting: How Parenthood Helps Us Grow

Before I became a mother, I asked an older woman who was a mentor to me what she would have done differently if she could live her life over. “I would have had more children,” she said. “Being a mother was my refiner’s fire. Who would I have become if I had had more?”

This story was related to me by a young mother in one of my workshops. The reflections of her wise friend…

On Teens Forgetting Their Childhood

On Teens Forgetting Their Childhood

Out driving with my teenage son, we pass a coffee shop in a familiar neighborhood. For some reason, on this day the sight of the coffee shop releases a flood of memories. When he was younger, he and I would come here every week for a hot chocolate after dropping his...

Parenting is a Journey, Not a Destination

Parenting is a Journey, Not a Destination

As my previously delightful daughter became sullen, surly, and withdrawn as she approached adolescence, I asked an older and wiser friend if the fun part of parenting lasted only a scant dozen years, and then was all downhill. Her response was elucidating. “It’s hard...

Asking Kids to Do Scary Things

Asking Kids to Do Scary Things

A recent parenting piece in the Washington Post detailed how schoolchildren are challenged in Japan, and how learning to handle difficulties pays off later when these kids reach adulthood. One paragraph in particular caught my eye and made my mother’s heart skip a...

Do You Believe Your Child is Special?

Do You Believe Your Child is Special?

When my children were small, we were friendly with a family who had a daughter who was quite bright. The parents spent a lot of time talking about Sophie’s intelligence and talents, and the special challenges that came along with parenting such a gifted child. Because...

The Lessons of Anger

The Lessons of Anger

Last week, I explored whether avoiding all anger at one’s children might be too much of a good thing. In essence, I argued that when children see us deal with our aggression, they learn to deal with theirs. Anger is most essentially a response to having one’s...